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You are currently browsing the blog archives for March, 2011.

Mar

30

It’s the little things…

By Leesa Gabel

I’ve discovered something fun to help me get thru this round of chemo…..random Facebook postings letting others know what ‘day’ it is. For instance, today, March 30, is National Turkey Neck Soup Day. I spend time looking up what fun facts I can find about the day and I post them on my Facebook page. It’s silly, I know, but it just makes me smile. And it gets my mind off of cancer-related things. I seem to have more cancer-related thoughts….some not so nice ones….the further into treatment I get. I just have days that I just get so frustrated and want it all to be over with. Those are my pity-party days. I try to keep those days to myself, but sometimes it’s hard.

Craig was sick last week with a very bad stomach flu. I did my best to be a caregiver to him because he is such an awesome one for me, but it was still hard. I had a time or two that it was hard for me to sympathize with him and show empathy because how he was feeling is how I feel just about every single day. Even when I’m not on chemo, I feel tired and run-down. I know a few ‘welcome to my world’ or ‘that’s me every day’ phrases came out. I didn’t mean to be snarky….it was my frustrated self talking. The self that just gets tired of being on chemo and feeling sick all the time. I think I’ve forgotten what it feels like to be healthy.

But then I’m reminded that it could always be worse, that really I’ve gotten off easy with my cancer….much easier than others. As I tell my kids…..you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.

In case you’re curious and can’t wait for tomorrow’s Facebook update….. March 31st is National Clams on the Half Shell Day!!

Mar

16

I’m a Bra Burner!

By Leesa Gabel

Follow me with this one and the title will make perfect sense…..

I was shopping at Hen House (local grocery store, not a fancy chicken coop) when a little old lady (from Olathe, not Pasadena) approached me. I could tell she had something to say, but not sure how to say it. She rambled around the subject for a bit, which turned out to be my hair….specifically, the lack of. She shared that in her day, if a woman lost her hair she’d go into hiding and would never, ever leave the house without it covered….be a kerchief or wig. She was very happy to see that I’m not ashamed….that I’m doing women proud. Although she didn’t say it, I’m sure she was thinking that I rock bald!

The encounter got me thinking about women and how society views us. The infamous 1968 bra burning incident at the Miss America Pageant (which, actually was a non-burning incident…look it up if you don’t believe me) came to mind….how a group of women came together to buck society’s objectification of women.

So in my own way I’m bucking society’s view of a bald woman….I’m out there without a cover on my head….and I like it!!

Mar

4

Time for a break

By Leesa Gabel

I can’t believe it’s already been four weeks! Crazy how time flies even when you’re just lying around doing hardly anything.

I was supposed to have two weeks left on chemo, but my doctor knocked two weeks off!! And he lowered my dosage!!! I’ll have two weeks off of chemo before I begin the four-month on two, off two cycle. Plus, when I start again it’ll be at a lower dosage than expected. Basically….good news all around.

I’m hoping that my body will rebound enough in the next two weeks that my energy will return. I start out great in the morning, but before noon I’m feeling exhausted. I try not to take a long nap because if I do…well….let’s just say that it’s almost midnight and I’m wide awake. My sleep pattern is way off course. But, I need energy in the evenings to be with the kids and Craig. I don’t like the kids seeing me so depleted. Both are very aware of how I’m feeling. Sometimes I’m glad they notice when I’m not feeling well, other times I wish I could fake it better for them. They’re kids….both still young enough that life can still be slightly sugar-coated every now and then.

Hmmm….sugar-coating made me think of cupcakes for some reason. Perhaps it’s because I know come Sunday I’ll be having one from Smallcakes to celebrate being done with round 1 of chemo!!!